"That one podium girl, she’s pretty hot. i bet she smells nice. if i win i could stand next to her. that would be cool. i wonder what she’s doing right now. i think she’s pretty. should i ask for her number? maybe i should ask for her number. she probably wouldn’t give it to me anyway. at least i get to stand next to her. if i could just win this bike race. fuck."
"Why are there always so many mountains in this race? can’t we just ride the flats for three weeks. that would be the best grand tour ever. flat every day. i would never have to climb straight up some fucking mountain. it would be so perfect. i’d probably have to ride a solo break every day."
"Is that the 10k’s to go banner? finally. what the fuck took that thing so long to show up? it looks like a donut. fuck, i’m hungry. is this thing almost over? because i’m pretty fucking tired now. 10k. i can always ride 10 k’s. they said i have two minutes. that sucks. there’s no way i’m making it. i’m so fucking tired. riding bikes is hard."
"There’s the finish. i got this. omigod. i got this. so close. i’m going to winnnnn."
Sprinters. i hate them. i hate them so much. no i don’t want a bottle. i want a beer. someone get me a beer.”
"I’m never doing that again. house painting. i’m going to be a house painter."